Which useless car are you? · You got roasted
You're a… Beige Toyota Camry
The Spreadsheet Enjoyer
Congratulations: you are the automotive equivalent of a firm handshake. You've read the warranty. Twice. You check your tyre pressures for fun, you own a favourite cupholder, and you once described a car as "very sensible" as a compliment. You will never break down, never be late and never, ever be stared at in a car park. Your mechanic doesn't know your name, and that's exactly how you like it.
Sensible-o-meter: 9/9
Maximum beige. The warranty is proud of you.
But deep down you secretly need a Fiat Multipla (1998) (The Group Chat Admin). There's hope for you yet.